To do or not to do, to be or not to be.

What's with that feeling, when you're supposed to make a wish but you don't know what for, when you make it to the top or the end or whathaveyou and you don't know what to make of it, when you get what you wanted but it's not at all what it seemed? It's stupid really, not nice, but I guess it's rather important. It's at that moment when you pause, wonder, question. That emptiness you feel, it spurs you to stop, which is always something we forget and often loath to do. Time is money. Busy-ness is next to godliness. All those daft and wicked beliefs we hold to distract ourselves make it seem like we're living and working for something when really we're just living and working. That something we're striving to gain, whether it be money, love, meaning, beauty, success--it's all a sham. I don't know who put it in place, who thinks they benefit from this, but we are being robbed of our chance for joy with every day we spend wishing and trying to be productive. I am tired, in so many ways, of worrying and making things happen. Life is not for doing, but for being: being helpless, being surprised, being grateful, being devastated. Sure we do things, many things, but not because we have to, not because we are measured by them. I have aspirations, and I have very strong wants and fears that govern my thoughts and actions, but I am not the want or the fear or the results. I just am, and I'm trying to let it be as best I can.