The F Word

I am afraid so often and I'm not sure what function it serves. Why should I let such irrational fear stop me from doing so much that could be good for me? Sometimes the fear pretends to be laziness or worry or other things. Shame and inadequacy are its bedfellows. The most sinister thing about fear is its ability not only to cripple you but to make you blame and hate yourself in the process. Deep down you know you're being lied to and taken advantage of, but there's no way to totally get rid of this feeling, one that is so primal and powerful that when you're in its grip it's difficult to imagine knowing anything else. Fear has the peculiar quality of making one forget all the times fear has been proven wrong. It's like a default mode, like gravity or inertia. Of course it has a service to provide, a reason for being, but we give it more power that we should. The worst thing fear does is not hurting us, but stopping us from reaching out to others. Some people happen to be more afraid of being by themselves than being with others, but most of us are afraid of judgment or rejection, so we don't put our feeling on the line. How many people have I loved from afar but been too afraid to tell how much I cared because I thought they'd think less of me in some way or that I'd get hurt? I need to learn how to acknowledge and accept my limitations, such as fear, so I can utilize my strengths and love the best I can.